What Me Not Perfect?

Do you have a hard time showing imperfection? This was the prompt for the week. I have done a lot  of thinking about this, honest thinking because the first thought that comes to mind is of course I don't because I don't have that many things to be imperfect about. [ oh for heaven's sake get real!]

Then I started to think about all the times I failed at things. Did I have a hard time sharing my failure. You bet I did. Just a small example was when I was teaching and had this hair brain idea of building a log cabin for Thanksgiving with 2nd graders out of rolled newspaper. Not just a small cabin but life size so the kids could fit inside It started out ok but it was past Thanksgiving before we would finish and I stayed late quite a few days finish the project so it wouldn't be a failure. [needless to say it wasn't in my lesson plans for the next year.]

How about the time I tried to sign a whole sermon to my deaf friend. No one but my friend and myself knew just what a terrible job I did. I sure wasn't telling anyone and she was too kind to tell the hearing folks at least.

Or my latest disaster was when I was working in the sound booth at church. My job is to make sure the words to the songs are on the screens and to change from the tape of the pastor to the live campus pastor. I forgot to watch the countdown and shut the tape off too quickly and the poor pastor and the worship team were racing to get back on stage to save the day. [yeah that is the way I roll, keeping everyone on their toes.]

Yeah, I have a difficult time saying to myself that I failed, and an even harder time letting others know that I have missed the mark entirely.

But as I have been reading Holley's daily words about how its ok to fail as NONE of us is perfect, I am slowly giving myself some slack. If you told me that the project you just tried was a total flop, I would be the first one to say "hey that's ok the next one you will have learned where the problems are and you will do so much better!" [by the way the church thing, NO ONE told me I was stupid or that I should probably not try to come back. Nope just reminded me to watch the clock so as not to cut the pastor off. That was Grace.] So why is it so hard for me to do the same for myself.

I am sure, like me, you don't want to look silly or stupid to those that are around you. I am finding that for the most part people are not waiting to pounce on our mistakes. Just as the Worship leader extended grace to me, or I would extend grace to you,so many others are just exactly the same. For those times in life where we fail miserably we need to remember that God is abounding in grace.

Hebrews 4:16

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

He will never turn away from you or me and say, "well that's it, you have messed up too many times." Nope he will forgive when we ask no matter what we have done and we can find mercy and grace at the throne. So I am working on remembering this, will you join me?

Is Your Purse Too Heavy?

I love shoes and purses. You too? I seem to like the purses that are more expensive than the average brands. I like the backpack kind, the shoulder models, just about every kind is fun for me. Well, it was fun until I started to have back problems;

I used to carry everything in my purse, from wipes to a screwdriver. I could have gone on the game show that had women search their purse for an off the wall item. I usually had it in my bag. Now it has all changed.

I have noticed that my purses have shrunk in size. I am unable to carry too much weight or I pay for it in aches and pains. I have gone from a "garage size" bag to just a small sling cross over bag. It is funny how many unnecessary items I used to carry. Things that I didn't really need that just weighed the bag down. Things at the time I was sure I would possibly need, so I had them "just in case".

Then the day came when I had to empty out my current bag and examine each item with a critical eye and decide if I could do without it. Each item was weighed and scrutinized. It was either added or left on a pile of rejects. When I finally got the bag to a manageable weight I was surprised at the glob of things that was still sitting in the reject pile that I really didn't need. You know, I have never missed any of those items and my back is so much happier.

My life seems to have a similar thing going on. I seemed to have packed my life with all sorts of  "garage size" weights, worry, self doubt, shame, not good enoughs, guilt, and oh so many more things that seemed to weigh me down.

Just like my purse I had to take a critical look at my life and get it to a manageable weight. There was nothing I could do to get it there by myself. I had to go to the One and Only that could help me get things tossed out that I was never meant to carry.

1 Peter 5:7 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Did you know that the word cast means to toss! Hmm tossing all those heavy weights on him. Just knowing that He cares for me and doesn't want me to be weighed down was freeing. Know what? If I seem to pick them up again to add to my "purse" of life [which I tend to do} I can once again toss them on the One that cares for me and feel the freedom of a lighter load and a happier me. 

If you "purse" of life is too heavy why not toss some of those things right out and have that freedom today!

Know the Truth

I have always thought my life was going along pretty good, great family, good health, wonderful husband, caring friends. Perfect right? Well, perfect has a way of crumbling before your very eyes.

The first to fall from the Perfection Train was my health. I know getting older things change but this is ridiculous! Parts need replacing, other parts just quit working altogether. Ok, I can deal with this I will just strive harder in other areas of my life. Not truth!

Next to leave the Perfection Train were the caring friends. We have moved a number of times and trying to keep caring friends long distance is VERY difficult. They seem to dwindle and even though I try to hold on they slip through my fingers. That's alright I will make new friends and they will become the caring ones. Right? Not always truth.

Family derails on the Train. Thinking that once the kids are grown everything will be great. No not the truth. Realization hits that perhaps I wasn't that perfect mom after all. This is perhaps the car that will derail me. Not truth. [I do still have a wonderful husband.]

If I were to let this be the end of what I was sure was the PERFECT LIFE, I would go down in flames. I have a verse that I keep telling myself,

 

 Isaiah 41:13



       For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Knowing that God ALWAYS keeps his word, I hold on to the thought of him holding my hand and walking through the day with me. Each time I encounter the need for perfection and fall I remember that he is holding my hand and I have nothing to fear because the God that created me is right here. He is helping me to be exactly who he created me to be, not perfect, but His very own daughter. Now that is perfection! That is a truth to hold tightly to!

 

Freedom from Perfection

As I grow older and look back at my life I sigh and struggle with all the mistakes made, bad judgments , things left undone, things never said and now are to late, in a word not Perfect.

I could struggle with the weight of the failures. I could sit in a blue funk and never move. I could put on a happy face to try and fool those around. None of these are the path I have chosen.

Holley has asked how we have moved to the freedom of perfection, these are the ways I have chosen.

I have run to God and asked his forgiveness for all of what I see and don't like, in other words my sins. He is so merciful and reminds me that I am forgiven. Easter is such a wonderful reminder of God's great and steadfast love for me and for you.

He also reminds me that he knows me and he knows my heart and he adores me.[did you know he adores you also?]

I also have a wonderful friend that listens without judgment. She always points me back to God's word with such a gentle and loving spirit. We all need someone that listens and offers a loving shoulder to lean on.

I think that one of the greatest verses in the Bible is this one:

                                                                     1 Peter 5:7

                                  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

 

This verse says I don't have to be perfect. I can give all the mistakes,  bad judgments, things that are now to late to say, to God because he cares for me. He loves me and doesn't want perfection just my best. He is the only perfect one and that is great to remember.

 

 

Not Perfection, Perseverance

When I was thinking about all the women that I know that have shown perseverance it was difficult. I have lived quite a while so thinking about friends that came through abuse and have the most positive outlook on life. Perhaps the friend that came through a spouse finding someone else but stayed the course and her marriage was restored. I decided on a very special woman, my mom.

Times were difficult when my mom was growing up. Her father left her mom with 5 kids to take care of. My mom decided she would easy the problem of food and clothing and became a live in maid. She had just finished the 8th grade and now she was in charge of cooking the meals, cleaning the home, and all the laundry [back when shirts were starched and ironed]Makes me tired just to think about it.

She married my father and they had a small farm that was totally washed away in a flood. They started over and built our family home themselves while raising 2 small girls.

When I was 10 and my sister was 16 my father died. It was a very traumatic time. My mom however, didn't cave and throw up her hands and give up. Nope she found a job cleaning family homes and on the weekends she cleaned the airport hotel rooms.

When I think of my mom I think of her tremendous perseverance. She wasn't worried about perfection, she left that to God. She carried on with the day to day living and loving. Yeah, this is the person that has greatly inspired me with such great perseverance.

Romans 5:3

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

 

 

 

Just Perfect

Where does that pressure come from to be more, to do more, to be PERFECT? I think it is fear. Fear from not measuring up, fear from not being good enough, fear that we haven't done enough.

When I was a lot younger, I was sure that I was good at everything. However, as I grew older there were lots of folks that told me something very different. That high school art teacher that said I couldn't draw and should never even try. Or those college young men that thought it would be funny to bark as I passed their table. What about those TV commercials that are telling me I need this product or that product to have the perfect smile, less wrinkles, or the clothes to be just Perfect person?

All of these words, hurtful, hateful, and just down right silly can send us one way or the other. Either we will believe that God made us exactly like we are, or we will believe the lies that are thrown at us and strive to prove them wrong.

When we live our lives in fear it is exhausting. We fear not measuring up to someone else's standard so we do more. We fear we don't look like the ads on TV, so we lose weight, buy the newest fad, wear the latest and greatest make-up. We fear others will see our flaws so we build walls.

You know what God tells us?

      Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

To know that God is with me in this, to know that I don't have to be dismayed by the careless words that are flung my way is such wonderful and news. He will be my strength, He will help me, and He will hold me up are words of freedom.

 

You can trust His words as they are always faithful and true. Let Him take all your fears and be the wonderful person He created you to be!

 

 

Check out Holley's new book You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect

 

 

 

Are They Gone?

Don't you just love small children and their honesty? Don't ask them a loaded question unless you want to hear the truth!

My daughter bought me a cream for DEFYING wrinkles for Christmas. It was more for the moisture and the lovely feel on my dry skin that I was using it.

One morning as I was getting ready for the day and my 5 year old granddaughter waltzed into the bathroom and asked what I was doing. I said I was putting on the cream that her mommy had given me to get rid of my wrinkles. "Oh", she said. I asked her if she would like some. "Yes". So I put a small dollop on each cheek. As she watched me rub  mine in she wanted to make sure she was doing it properly. "Like this Nana?" I told her "Perfect." As she finished she said, "Are my wrinkles gone?" I had to chuckle but told her yes she looked gorgeous! She smiled. I thought I would have a little fun. So I asked her, "Are my wrinkles gone?" [now my face and the Grand Canyon have some things in common.] As she looked at me she tilted her head to one side and her little face kind of puckered up and she said, "Well, it  might take a little while for it to work on you!"
I was able to start the day with a chuckle. How awesome is that.

I am sure that a few years ago that would have sent me into a tail spin of sorrow. Not only did my face have wrinkles, but a 5 year old had spotted them! However, as I am growing closer to Christ and realize He has made me just the way I am, wrinkles and all. He is changing me from the inside out. I am not so worried about the outside packaging as I am about the inside reality of me.

1 Peter 3:3-4

 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

 

As I read this verse the words that catch my eye are these, great worth in God’s sight. That is the kind of beauty I want, unfading and of great worth. It is God who is adding the "defying cream" to me. He is changing me from the inside out. I don't have to use creams or a mud pack, I just need to do the best I can with the outside while God is doing His best on the part that counts, the inside. We can stop trying to be "perfect", in my case at least , that is never going to take place here on earth. We can allow God to make us of "great worth in His sight.

Check out Holley's New book.