Special

I just had another birthday. Seems they happen every year, I know right? I really love my birthday. When I was young my family made me feel so special. I got to choose the things I wanted for dinner. My mom made my favorite cake, angel food, and we would have ice cream. There would be a few presents but it was the feeling that I liked, being special,loved!

As I got older I started to appreciate all my mom had done for me. She was a single parent for all but 10 years of my life. My father died when I was 10 so it was just my sister, my mom and I. She worked 2 jobs to support her little family. So instead of wanting to be the one that felt special, and loved I wanted my mom to feel that way so I started a new "tradition" and for each year I was alive I bought her that many roses.

I continued that until her death. It seems that I wanted her to know how much I loved her and appreciated all she had done and given up for me but it made me feel so good inside to just share with her a small piece of my love.

I have been on a journey lately to try and KNOW God. Not just what read. Not just what I try and understand and fail at. I have told myself because I never really knew my father so God is so out there I just don't understand him. I am having trouble trying to relate Him to something I know. I think that is the problem, He is NOT like something I have known.

I am reading the book, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan and he has a way of showing God and his greatness and his love for me that I seem to have missed. God didn't have to create all the wonderfully intricate things he has, but he did. He didn't have to have His Son come and die just so that I could be saved and spend eternity with him, but he did. His love is so vast and wide for me that I am now struggling to just comprehend that kind of love.

Do you feel lonely, unloved, starving to feel special? God loves you so much! If you don't believe me just check out the love letters He has sent to you, in his word. He love YOU. Just take a look around and see the beauty he has created today just so you can enjoy it. Better than that, just spend some time talking with Him.