Two Notes

I am a morning person. I love to get up to see the sunrise and see the beginning of a new day. It is quiet and I can spend this time with God. Its a great way get my day going the right direction.

For the last few weeks I have beat the birds up. [yeah I know a little scary] I like birds, the way they seem to sing praises to their Creator the first thing when they wake up. Some have this long song and it is beautiful to hear. Each one is so different. They all seem to say wake up and get a move on.

The other morning as I was listening to the stillness come alive with the birds waking up and starting their praise chorus, I hear this one bird's song, 2 notes. Yep that was his repertoire! Just 2 notes. It kind of sounded  like  one of those old swings at the playground. You know the ones. They have a group of chains that link to a sturdy metal rail at the top and they make that sound as you go up then a sound when you come down.

This bird was singing his heart out with only 2 notes. [up and down] No warble. No scale of notes, No mesmerizing tune. Just those same 2 notes. He isn't bothered that others are singing a cantata all by themselves. He just continues to belt out his 2 notes.

Its funny but now I listen specifically for Little 2 Note. It makes me smile when I finally hear him singing.

I got to thinking about how some of us only have those 2 notes to sing "our songs". We can't cook like the neighbor down the street but we are able to make tasty and nutritious meals for our family. We can't pray like that Godly woman who seems to get us right to the heart of God. We can however step into the throne room of God and speak with him quietly and come away refreshed and free. We can't seem to understand all the Bible is telling  us like those Women of Faith that go to conferences we attend to learn more of God. But there are some days when the light bulb flashes and we see exactly what God has for us.

Perhaps we only have "2 notes" but we, like that little bird, need to take those "2 notes" and sing our hearts out with our praise to the One that gave them to us. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others to see what we are missing. Instead we need to be so very thankful for the gifts we already have. Perhaps as I specifically listen for Little 2 Note God is specifically listen to you and you make Him smile!

Its OK

I have just started to do a new "job" in my church, running the words on the screen for the worship songs. Then, since we are such a small community I start the video of the Pastor who is serving 4 other small areas and one large city. It took some getting used to watching the pastor on a screen and not just feet away from me but I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Technology was my "thing" in my professional life. I love all the innovations and new ideas that can be incorporated into our lives. That being said technology moves very swiftly and being out of the main flow for over 5 years you can imagine the changes and updates that took place in my absence.

I was in training first so I could decide if this was the way I wanted to serve in our church and if I felt this is where God was calling me. There are 2 monitors, 2 keyboards, 2 mice, and a gizmo to change from one screen to the other and 2 services to do. Yes, lots of things for this old dog to learn.

The wonderful young woman I learned with made it all so seamless and easy. Yes this is the job I really want to do. [not on stage but one of those behind the scenes kind of jobs, Perfect] I informed the leader after a few training sessions that I was willing to serve alone if needed.

I wanted to do a PERFECT job. [all my years of living and I was still under the illusion of perfection] Nervous about being on my own, I was determined that I could do this. The first thing that lead to the downward spiral was I lost the mouse. No not the actual clicker deal but on the screen [of which there are now 2] I wiggled and jiggled that little thing and still nothing would show on the screen so I could click next. [thank goodness for a high school senior who was doing the lighting sitting next to me in the booth] With the help from the lighting worker we found that sneaky little thing and everything was back on track.Little did I know that the mouse was doing a strange dance on the monitor for the performers. Thank goodness they were the only ones that had to watch the flying mouse and  my mistake.

All went smoothly until the pastor was praying. I was trying to decide when I had to slide the gizmo thingy back to the other screen to get back to the pastor at our campus for the final prayer. Ok so I was an overachiever and cut the pastor off and now there is no one on stage. The poor team was scrambling to get themselves on stage and take if from there. Oh yeah that was PERFECT!

After the first service we meet to talk about what worked and what needs to be changed. Ouch! I was beating myself up from the time of my first mistake until the blow out of my last mistake. It was a long walk from the booth to the meeting. I was wishing I could disappear.

The worship leader runs this little meeting. He is the most upbeat positive person I have ever met. He is not this way just every now and then, nope this is the way he is ALL the time. The categories were on the white board and I was dreading being embarrassed in front of the others in the room. [its not like the whole church hadn't lived through my mess up] You know what happened? No berating me, no pointing fingers with a mean face, no telling me that this definitely wasn't the job for me. Nope he just said that I could watch the timer to help me to know when to switch that little gizmo and he moved on to the next thing. Wow, no one was looking at me or laughing or rolling their eyes [they're all younger, much younger than I] we just moved on. Then the words great job guys let's do our best again.

Huh, our best. The pressure had been lifted from perfect to best. I think of this now whenever I have something to do and the word perfect sneaks into my mind. I remember to do my very best and not worry about perfect. Now the jobs, and things I do or attempt to do seem to be more enjoyable and they turn out a whole lot better and I know that I have done my best. Perhaps thinking along these lines will help you move from perfect to best.

Are You Cheating?

I love to help people out when they need an extra hand, do you also? It blesses me I think more than the person I am helping. It lifts my spirit and makes me smile and feel good about me.

I remember growing up my mom taught my sister and I about giving with out saying a word. She was the living example. I remember going to the"Old Folks Home" and just visiting with a few of the people there that were not able to get out of bed and didn't have family that was able to, or just didn't take the time to visit. I remember how their face would light up when we came in the door. Some would even offer candy to us. My mom led the way and we would sit and listen to her just chat with them. It was fun to hear about their lives when they were younger.

Then there was the older widow that couldn't make it to church too often, she just was well enough to drive or sit that long. However, she loved buckwheat pancakes and when my mother's Sunday School Class would have their annual Pancake Breakfast she would make sure there were a few "special " pancakes made out of buckwheat so we could run them to this widow's home. She always was so very thankful. She said it reminded her of when she was a girl and had them at home.You could see the smile on her face as she would take a whiff of the hotcakes.

I remember as we drove home I felt really good inside. It was like Christmas morning and the packages were all for me!

There were so many other ways she lived the "better to give than receive" lesson. As I grew up it was such fun to come up with my own ways to teach my children the same lesson. I remember when there was an older woman that couldn't get to church as she didn't drive. I offered to pick her up and take her. Thought it would be a great lesson for my children. At first they really didn't want to do this. She of course got "shotgun" [the front seat] and that was the coveted seat. But as they got to know her and we did it a few times they were getting into it.

Its funny but now that my children are grown that is one of the things they remember and will remind me of.

Now the shoe is on the other foot. {namely my foot] I am the one in need of a helping hand. Do I ask for help. You're absolutely right, NO! That would admit to myself that I can't do all the things I used to do.[just like the pancake lady] I will struggle with things before I seek help  and then only if it is something that absolutely has to be done right away. Lately after reading the things I read from each of you and Holley I am rethinking my actions. Perhaps it is my time to let someone else be blessed by God with their ability to give me a helping hand. Pride is just such an ugly word. I think it is my pride that is keeping me from seeking others help. God has some things to say about pride. 

Proverbs 11:2

                     When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 16:18

                                      Pride goes before destruction, a                                        haughty spirit before a fall.

I am working on asking for help and not allowing my pride to cheat someone out of the wonderful blessing that God gives. How about you? You don't need to wait!

.

Friends

This past year has been quite a challenge for me. I have been made to realize that all I thought I was doing was done well and my family was intact and on the way. I ran head long into a brick wall that not only shattered my confidence in the work that I had done but also made me question my ability to be a mother.

Ever been in a place so bleak? Ever felt you world had imploded? I was there struggling to rise from the ashes without telling anyone of my plight. [too embarrassed, too afraid of what they would think of me not sure which was worse.] Which I was sure would bury me deeper than I could ever recover from. God and I had so many conversations and his word continually was reminding me that He hadn't left me. Hebrews 13:5
                          "For God has said, “I will never, never fail you nor forsake you.”
I had to be very careful around friends to not reveal the pain and uncertainty I was carrying around. 

Then a call came from 2,000 miles away. That friend I had prayed with. That friend I had done life with. That friend that was hurting just the same as I was. She also was rethinking her ability to be the mom that God had created her to be. [our children have a way of doing this] As we talked  she shared her broken bruised heart as she said to me "I am too embarrassed to tell anyone else but I had to tell someone and so I called." I had to tell her that my life was in the same dust bin as hers and I finally shared with her the hurt and embarrassment that I was carrying also.

We cried and prayed and the pain lifted. We have pledged to share each week and to pray together. We offer each other the wisdom that God shares with us each week and together we are ascending out of the pit. 

Yes, there are others that are struggling with the same things you are even if we don't want to believe that. God has graciously put two friends back together to "fight the good fight". Do not struggle alone, seek God and he will direct you path. Whether it is just you and God or you, God and that special friend you are not alone in your struggles! Reach out.