Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Oh the Agony of it all!

We were spending the afternoon with our daughter and granddaughters, it was such a fun afternoon until IT happened. The agony of it all! The horror! Our son-in-law sat down on the old recliner, {the only recliner in the room} and something popped and down dipped one end of the ancient chair. He said well that's that. My daughter cheered at the prospect of getting rid of the old chair. Our granddaughter had an entirely different reaction. As our son-in-law struggled to get out of the chair and find another seat our granddaughter ran to her fallen "friend" and jumped on the seat turned to face the back and hug it fiercely. Tears popped into her little eyes and she wept. We all turned to the sound of her crying thinking she must be trapped by the beast of the chair. Nope, just in the seat hugging it like it was her best friend who had {or would soon} be moving away. What a strange reaction to the process of life, things get older and wear out and we discard them. We got her straightened around and she was soon right as rain again. Another tragedy averted.

Little did I realize this lesson would come to me the very next day. My husband found some old pictures of me in the cupboard.{why was he in the cupboard you ask, my question exactly!} He set them on the table with no instructions or preface, I should have never looked at the small album! I started to peruse the pictures and the farther I got the more teary eyed I became. The pictures were of a younger, more healthy me with other members of the family that are no longer with in range of talking any longer. So as not to be caught crying and having to explain the reason for the tears I quickly swiped the eyes and stuffed the feeling back into the little compartment that is hidden deep inside of me. Thinking all was well I went on about my day.

I was feeling kind of low as I went to take my shower. {did you know that the shower is the greatest place to cry as no one comes in on you and the water washes away the tears} I started to cry again remembering the things that I used to have and no longer am capable of doing or even looking like, I was just like that little granddaughter crying for what was! As I sat drying off, I cried out, to the only One that knows me inside and out and lives in me, for help. Slowly the tears all dried up and such a sweet peace flowed through me, nothing changed on my body. I wasn't young again, I still had the aches and pains I had before I entered the shower, but inside where my heart hurt was gone, replaced by such a peace and joy that still reigns as I write this. God's words were brought to mind from
 1 Samuel 16:7b:
"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
If your heart is hurting for what was or could have been reread these words and take comfort in our God who adores you just as you are now!

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